the crazy one

So, I made the move successfully from city life to country life. Even after almost a month I am still getting use to country life. The peace is incredible though. While I work hard outside every day I don't feel the stress I did when I was in Ann Arbor. Also, the storms are amazing. I've never lived in such open land where you can see thunderstorms roll in. Since there are just fields for acres you can see the sky for what seems like forever. I've never spent so much time just looking at the sky as I have since I've moved to "the great white" north of Michigan. Soon enough the summer will end and I'll be headed to graduate school for that crazy field of applied anthropology but for now I'll enjoy my new "office".

"Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." -- Benjamin Franklin , Historical Review of Pennsylvania, 1759

Flowers: $40
Dinner for two: $80

Telling her you're a feminist: priceless!

I love this time of year. The leaves are just starting to change, there's a good kind of chill in the air soon it will be time to start going to the apple orchard. There is nothing like picking a pumpkin than getting Wassum's apple cider and warm freshly baked dounts...yum! I'm especially enjoying the season because of my amazing location on State street! I love living right in the middle of things. Saturday mornings it's only a 5 minute walk to the farmer's market. And I only have a 10 minute bike ride to work. Life isn't so bad.

I just remembered my dream from last night:

I'm with Pete, Wendy and Lorenzo at some party in some small town in the middle of no where, I think, in Michigan. I needed to get some cash so I leave in the white Chevy Malibu to go to find an ATM. I find one and end up driving into the side of an empty white car that is parked right in front of the ATM. However, I don't realize what I'm doing as it happens. I just go in to get my money which ends up taking forever because I can't operate the machine properly for some reason. So, once I get back to my car these two girls walk up and start cussing me out. I'm very confused over why the hell they're angry at me when I don't know them from a hole in the wall. But I just deside to get the hell out of there. So, I'm opening the door to get into the Malibu when the one girl takes out a professional looking camera and takes some pictures of me and than of my license plate. Once she starts taking pictures for some reason I finally realize what the heck the hubbub is about - the side of their car is smashed in. Also, as I sit in the driver's seat of my car, the front of the door on the driver's side of my car is half a foot away from the rest of the car. (Which also doesn't make sense because I hit their car with the front of my car.) So, I drive off thinking to myself "crap this isn't going to be good." I get back to where everyone is and tell them what happened. Pete tells me he wouldn't have taken so long with the ATM so he would have gotten away before the girls got back. I think to myself, "I really wish that I hadn't taken so long." Than my dream jumps to us walking by a field of cars and seeing a state cop looking around at the cars with a flashlight. We realize that he's looking for my car which thankfully is parked in a heavely wooded area but it's not that far away and if the cop keeps up his search he'll probably find it. I have the thought of changing license plates but their is still visiable damage. So, we some how move the car, without the cop seeing us, to someone's parents' house and the guys start working on the damage so I won't get caught. The cop comes by but doesn't find the car because it's in a lower work area under the floor of the garage.

I have been throwing around the idea of staying at the Ford School in the fall working out a permiant posistion with them. I was just listening to the "Impossible Dream" on my pandora.com station and the lyrics "To dream the impossible dream...to bear with unbearable sorrow, to try when your arms are too weary, to reach the unreachable star" made up my mine for me - I'm going to put all my energies into making sure the funding comes through for the research assistant position with my envirnomental anthropologist mentor. I need to work somewhere that is in my field. I have the position, I'm just waiting on funding. I'm not going to worry about not having health insurance. I'm going to go after my dream of being an applied anthropologist working on human rights issues on a global level. Working with my mentor who works for the UN is an excellent stepping stone but it is "soft" money and I don't get health insurance. It's a bit of risk. I was leaning more towards staying at the Ford School and having that safe custion of stability. But without risk their won't be any gain in my profession. I am going to reach the unreachable star no matter what I have to do.

As I look at the New York Times front page the last three days regarding the Lebanon and Israeli war, I am filled with an overwhelming sense of grief. The faces of people screaming in denial and pain as their family members lie dead haunt me. Yet another war in the Middle East. I should be num to it but for some reason I want to scream in frustration and denial and wonderment that I still have hope that our world is going to get better. Darfur has been on my mind lately as well. By an accident of birth I am not in these regions of horror watching my parents die, my older brothers and boyfriend fight, my best friend get raped but that does not negate my responsibility to those that are born there.

Why are more bombs being dropped? Why are more people dieing? Tracy Chapman's song "Why" sums up what I am feeling today.

So, P gave me a mixed CD yesterday and wow does he know me well:

New Radicals Flowers:
Our lives? 
They're nine to seven 
Why aren't things wild? 
You said you was a flower child 
I can respect your soul searching 
But nows no time for questioning 
I'm sure you've been misled before 
And once you'd trust they'd slam the door 
But I'm everything I claim to be 
You just need vodka and honesty? 
Do you know who I am? 
Do you know who I am? 
My love is real 
As real as the flowers you smoke to get high 
My love is real 
As real as our god who has spoken on how we can fly 
My love is real 
As real as the flowers 
You're 22 why aren't you free? 
you're mom and daddy's victory 
a soul thats lived a thousand lives 
Don't hide behind a childs eyes 
I'm sure you've been misled before 
And once you'd trust they'd slam the door 
But I'm everything I claimed to be 
You just need vodka and LSD? 
Do you know who I am? 
Do you know who I am? 
My love is real, 
As real as the flowers you smoke to get high 
My love is real 
as real as our god who has spoken on how we can fly 
My love is real 
as real as the flowers 
I love you hate me 
I took math class that ain't a fair exchange 
I call you, you hang up 
Don't have to be a bitch and get your number changed! 
I'm sorry, forgive me 
I never meant to call you those names 
But I'm lonely, so lonely please

Current Music: mixed cd boyfriend made

I'm on my 2nd mocha and I'm still tired. I want to just put my head down on my desk and go to sleep or even better yet just go home and sink into my feather bed for four hours or so. I got about an hour of sleep last night though hey I shouldn't be complaining as I thoroughly enjoyed the reason for my lack of sleep. Thank you P!! The boy has talent I'm telling you. However, I'm stressing over just trying to pass my last class as an undergrad...I have so much work to do it but all I keep on thinking about is going over to P's.

These modified lyrics basically sum up my weekend:

Current Mood: happy

A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history.

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.

When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love has always won. There have been tyrants and murderers and for a time they seem invincible but in the end, they always fall - think of it, always.

-Mahatma Gandhi

As an anthropologist I could always work for the Context-Based Research Group:

About Context-Based Research Group
When anthropologists Robbie and Belinda Blinkoff and marketer Chuck Donofrio established Context in 1999, their goal was simple - to help marketers and product designers do better work through the power of ethnography.

For Context, analysis is about uncovering the what's most important to our clients' customers. What influences how they think and how they act. And, finally, how do our client's products and services fit into those spaces.

Make Something Happen
Research alone is not enough. A truly successful research project is one that ends with action. One that generates insights that affect strategy, product design or communication in a tangible way. One that drives results.

At Context, we work closely with product designers, marketing experts and our clients to make sure that something happens with our research. We won't settle for a dusty report on a shelf.

In other words, I could go into advertising research...a.k.a. helping companies find ways to get people to buy more crap.

Current Music: Nomo

Wendy left for Ecuador a week ago...god, it feels like a lot longer. Not being able to call her up whenever something funny or sad or stupid happens in my life has been hard. It's like not having your hand or your leg there. You take it for granted until it's gone. We became close friends and than roommates in a short amount of time and while she can piss the hell out of me some times I miss her and her attempts to get me to do crazy things.

I just got an email from her that said that the naturalist for the first part of her trip in the rainforest asked her to extend her trip a day so they could spend some time together. Only she would find romance in the middle of the rainforest and probably he is going to turn out to be perfect for her...

Woot! Today is my birthday!! I graduated yesterday and today I turn 25.

If you want to come out and party with us give me call on the cell, if you don't know my cell phone number send me an email at laathena1@yahoo.com.

The left side of my neck is pretty sore from my fight today. I don't know if I feel more confident as I'm suppose to. I had two attackers and I was able to throw one down but I think the other one got in a good head shot (I couldn't tell until after the adrenaline wore off). The weird thing was I went into it confident that I would do okay, even pretty good. I have three older brothers and most of my closest friends are guys who think the fact that I'm ticklish is the greatest thing since they found out about sex. So, I've wrestled with quite a few guys who are twice my weight and strength. However, I haven't gotten into a no holds bar fight in a long time and even than it wasn't like this. I was able to defuse the situation quickly. In this fight I felt like my strikes weren't doing anything and that the one guy was huge. I just couldn't get in a good head shot and I felt like everything I learned in my self defense class weren't working. So I was consentrating and worrying about the techniques instead of the fight. Leading to me not blocking the strike to my head.

I think I might treat myself to a back message for my birthday. Wendy touched my neck yesterday and was surprised at how tight with knots it is. I just need to make it through this week. If anyone wants to give me a back massage for my birthday May 1st, either professional or from their own wonderful hands, I would be forever grateful.

I didn't realize until today but I LOVE British accents. A student just walked in and needed to talk to the financial aid counselor and while I don't find him that physically attractive his voice is...let's just say he could make a lot of money as a phone sex operator.

How naive I am - I thought I was going to be able to get through graduation and moving out next week without feeling completely stressed out. I should know better. But things have been so going pretty well lately so I naively thought I could get through it all without feeling overwhelmed. But than I talked to my landlord who is angry because I didn't give him a full month's notice that I am moving out and wants my security deposit and he says that we had a verbal agreement that we where staying until the fall. I never remember making that agreement. I don't think I would make that agreement because I knew that I was graduating in April and probably not going to be in the area. Also, my one roommate still needs to pay two months rent and she's broke. Than to top it all off I just found out that my Stats prof never registered me for the course so I very well might be taking it again this spring. Fucking hell. Oh, and I'm not going to have my job after next week.

I need a back message and a time machine to take me to two weeks from now.

the belief that the world tends to improve and that humans can aid its betterment.

Example sentence:
Marie wanted to be a meliorist but was too much of a realist.

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
-Benjamin Franklin"